The Week It Wouldn’t Stop Raining

It rained in Panama for a week straight. Now I should clarify, it rains in Panama practically everyday, for an hour or so. It is the rainy season. But this week it rained practically 24 hours a day…everyday. Towns were flooded, the power went out – and it just created a gray and depressing atmosphere.

Monday: WiFi…Finally!
On Monday, after over a month of sharing one internet connection, we finally got WiFi. I know that multiple internet connections may sound like a luxury and not a need, but believe me, in this house…we need it. May I remind you that 50% of Eric and my day is spent online, and it became difficult to negotiate whose turn it was to google something and whose yahoo account should stay on.

The best part was that I didn’t have to stick around the apartment and wait for the cable guys. I braved the rain and went out to lunch with a woman from the Embassy and the president of a community organization in Casco Viejo. It was a great lunch (one of many meetings I have had, learning about the youth and community work that is happening in and around Panama City). When I got back to the apartment, we both had internet!!!!! And neither of us have gotten off the computer since.

Tuesday: We Got Cheated!!!
We went to the ATM to get cash for the rent. We have to pay our rent in cash because it takes 20 days to cash an international check (and our landlord doesn’t want to wait that long to get paid). We were going to take out one chunk of money from our joint account and another chunk from my personal checking – as you are only allowed to take out up to $500 per day from a single account. The first cash withdrawal was fine. The second one however was not. Eric entered in all the info and the machine made the sound as if it was counting and releasing the cash, but nothing came out. A note popped up on the screen saying that the machine ran out of money and we would have to try again later. So went we went to a different machine to get the money out – then we received a notice that we had already taken out our daily allowance for the day. When we got home, I checked online and saw that the money was withdrawn from our account! We went back to the bank and talked to the manager, we called our bank in the States, we emailed them and filed a report. They said that they would do “an investigation”. That was a lot of money. The worst part was that we had to take out more money the next day so that we could pay the rent. Now our account looks depressingly low. We better get our money back!

Wednesday: Nothing
We did nothing. Really. We watched some TV, went online of course, made food, played with Frankie, and that is about it. It was too rainy to go out.

Thursday: Gringo Thanksgiving
We didn’t think that we would be celebrating Thanksgiving while we were in Panama - both because we don’t like the origins of Thanksgiving and because we didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with. When we got invited to attend a Gringo Thanksgiving, with some of the other recipients of the Fulbright Grant, we were hesitant. We did not want to spend the whole night talking about what it is like to be foreigners, we would rather talked with Panamanians about being Panamanian, but the call to socialize and eat turkey eventually won us over.

Eric made tostones and mojo, in order to bring some Puerto Rican flare to the dinner. I made candied yams; I wanted to go the traditional route. I combined two recipes that I found online. It was yummy!!!

There were about twenty of us on the rooftop patio of one of the Fulbrighters. There were Panamanians and North Americans (and some other cultures peppered in). Apparently, many Panamanians celebrate Thanksgiving too. I think that is odd. We ate, talked, laughed and generally enjoyed each other’s company and the view. The one thing that we did not do, however, is give thanks. I did not even realize until it was over that we had not done the one thing that is supposed to make this day standout from all other days. So Eric and I made sure that we did it when we got home. We gave thanks for being safe, feeling productive, and having friends and each other so far from home.

Friday: Christmas Has Officially Begun
Though we are not huge fans of Thanksgiving, we are fans of the post-Thanksgiving tradition of decorating for Christmas.

Surprisingly, at least for me, Christmas is a big deal over here. The stores began decorating before Halloween and they have entire floors dedicated to Christmas stuff. After pricing some fake Christmas trees in the more main stream malls, Eric and I decided to go to Ave. Central. This avenue is probably what you picture when you think of Central America – people selling fruit, lottery tickets and other cheap stuff in small stores and on the street. We would much prefer a real tree, but seeing as how pine trees don’t grown in Panama, we settled for a 5’ plastic one. We got the tree, ornaments, lights and stockings (including a tiny red sock for Frankie) all for under $40. We came home, put on some Christmas music and started decorating our tree. It made us a bit homesick for the States.

We turned off all of the lights, except for the ones of the tree and listened to Christmas music. Cheesy…sure – but it was nice.

At around 12am, we were still on our computers, hanging out in the living room, when all of the lights turned off. Either lightning struck a transformer or all of the rain caused it to blow – all we know is we heard a loud noise outside and then the neighborhood went dark. Even though it was nighttime and the lights should have been off anyway, it felt really creepy to have this forced darkness. We could hear people in the hallway, coming out of their apartments to see what was going on, and we saw people (or rather flashlights) moving around in the building across from us. We filmed some of the darkness and tried to stay up to see what would happen, but eventually the darkness got boring and we went to bed. A few hours later, while we were sleeping, we heard the TV come back on.

Blackout over.

Saturday: Eggs, Spaghetti and Salad
Nothing much happened during the day on Saturday. We cleaned. This has become a weekly ritual (my father would be proud!). We have a bird and ceramic floors, so weekly mopping is a must. We sweep, mop, clean the bathroom, water the plants and Windex the tables.

We did make it out in the afternoon to see Max Pain at the movie theater in the mall. That was the most recent movie available to see – our other choices were An American Haunting (which came out in 2005), Nim's Island (which on DVD in the States), Juno (which on DVD in the States), College Road Trip (yes, with Martin Lawrence…and yes it is on DVD in the States), High School Musical 3 and Quantum of Solace 007 (which Panamanians are totally into because it was filmed in Panama). So we chose Max Pain. It was bad. Didn’t make sense, poor character development, just stupid – even by brainless-comic book-action movie standards. What was also bad were the two granola-gringos in front of us talking the whole time. It is people like them that make us sometimes feel embarrassed to be North Americans.

After the movie, and as we do on most evenings, we settled in for our daily dose of Dr. Phil, House and Law & Order. Now I never watched much TV in New York – I wasn’t home enough to watch. We try to keep the TV off for most of the day when we are home, and try to fill our time with work, music, art, reading and internet exploration. But in the evening – it is hard not to get sucked in.

This evening, however, we were reduced to a dinner made up of eggs, spaghetti noodles and salad – basically, what we had left in the fridge. We have tried hard to stick to about $10 a day, for both of us, and that includes eating most of our meals at home. That also means that we run out of things quick. But in the interest of being economical, we decided to make due with what we had left over. Eggs were Eric’s suggestion. I was happy with the spaghetti and salad, but he insisted that we had a protein. So we ate our protein, our starch and our greens…and watched House. Just another Saturday night in Panama City – exciting, huh?!

Sunday: Sun!!!!
The sun finally decided to come out on Sunday morning…and just in time for church. Eric and I have been passively looking for a church since we got here. We wanted to find something close, energetic and bilingual (ok, that last one was my request). Almost across the street from our apartment building in the Hosanna Evangelical Church. Most of the churches in Panama are Catholic, so we were happy to find a Protestant church near by. This particular church seats 5,000 people – crazy right. They have a TV show, radio station and mega services. We attempted to go the week previous, but didn’t know what time the service was – and in very Panamanian fashion, there is NO information about services or times on their website or answering machine. This Sunday we guessed a time, got dressed and went.

Turns out we were a half-hour early for their next service and they were in the middle of Sunday School. There was at least a thousand people in the congregation and each section had a person standing in front teaching (or shouting) to the people in that section. It was Sunday School in mass, but subdivided – if you can picture it. The pulpit was large, with three movie-screen-sized screens hanging above it so that each section could see the preacher and musicians up close. There was also a camera crane on the side of the pulpit which would produce epic shots of the congregation praying and singing on the screen. Also hanging above the pulpit was a HUGE wooden eagle – yea, I don’t understand it either. It was about 16’ x 30’ and was in flight with it’s claws extended to the crowd. And if you think that is odd, there was an actual live bat flying around the church. Yea, that’s right. It flew right over people’s heads, near enough to grab. No one moved or screamed, as if everyone was used to this church mascot. Eric and I were not amused.

When the service started, a choir of about 20 went up to sing. They sand “Our God is an Awesome God”…in English. I thought that that was pretty funny, since everything else before and afterwards was in Spanish. The choir and band played about four more songs. The congregation was dancing and singing, and the children moved to the front of the pulpit to form a mini-Christian mosh-pit. We were happy to finally make it to a service, and were glad to learn two important things: what time it started and to sit on the first floor (away from the bat). We will be better prepared next Sunday.

After church we got something to eat (35¢ pastelitos, thank you very much) and took a cab to Casco Viejo. Picture Old San Juan, except poor…really poor. Picture if everyone from La Perla picked up their stuff, kicked out the artists, restaurants and tourists and moved into Old San Juan – that is Casco Viejo. It is beautiful – Spanish architecture, cobble stone streets, near the water, it is lovely. But I wouldn’t walk around at night. There was a flea market/ craft fair. They had masks, molas, paintings, clothes and jewelry. They also had $2.50 plates of food prepared by the local culinary school. We met some friends there, ate, looked around, watched the tourists try to haggle in bad Spanish, watched the local kids try to get money from the tourists and struck up conversations with Panamanian tour guides waiting for their North American clients to get out of the near by museum. It was a pretty cool afternoon – especially after feeling cooped up in the house the whole week.

So there you go. All of that in just one week. Imagine what fun and hilarity we will have in the 28 weeks to come.

Check Out My Videos

Make sure to watch the videos that I made about my life here in Panama. Look at "Capturing Panama" on the right-hand side of the blog.

Check it ever few weeks for new videos.

The Story of Frankie Ruiz...the Parakeet

On November 6th, Frankie Ruiz joined our small family.

The hot shower system in my bathroom was not working. (Since we have two bathrooms in this apartment, Eric and I have each claimed one.) The landlord and an electrician were called in to fix the problem.

Eric and the two men were talking on the balcony, and as they came inside the electrician noticed a pinching pain on the back of his leg. He turned to look and found a tiny green parakeet hanging from his jeans. The bird had his wings clipped, so it was unable to fly; and we are in the 13th floor. How the bird arrived in our apartment, and moreover on the man's leg, is a mystery.

Eric and I spoke with neighbors and put up fliers about the missing bird. However, after about two hours of playing with him, we took the signs down. We fell in love. The landlord said that it was a blessing on our home. (Though, looking back, we think that he might have brought us this "blessing" in his pocket - how else did it get here???) Eric named him Frankie Ruiz, after one of his favorite Salsa singers.

Being good parents, we quickly bought Frankie a home - a four foot tree that we placed on the balcony. But when he began to wake up with the sun - and decided that he would scream and sing in order to wake us up too, we moved him inside. He received a new cage filled with toys. But it didn't stop there for Mr. Ruiz; he now has his own room. Every night he retires to the guest bedroom, where he can sleep quietly and have some privacy.

He is probably the most spoiled bird on the block.

Having him is actually pretty good baby training. When we first put him in his new room for the night, he was cawing and crying. I wanted to go in and get him, but Eric kept saying, "No! You have to let him get used to falling asleep on his own." In the morning, if I haven't heard anything from him, I peek into his cage to make sure he is breathing. We have even felt the urge to rush home after being out of the house all day, to check on him and spend time with him before bed. Plus all he really does is eat and poop...it is like having a very tiny green baby.

Our grand vision is that in seven months, when it is time for Eric and I to move back, that Frankie's wings will have grown back and we will release him into the wild. However, each apple, banana or pepper treat we give him makes me more and more aware that he may not want to go. Where in the wild will he find two grown people that cater to him, feed him, clean him, play with him - where will he find his own bedroom and food in the fridge that was bought just for him. Our little Augustus Gloop may get a little too spoiled for the wild.

For now we will enjoy our time with him and will probably continue to spoil him. I am curious to see what lessons about life, love and ornithology Frankie will teach us. I am also curious to to see what other "blessings" will appear in our house the next time the landlord comes to visit.

The View From Up Here

After only a week of searching Eric and I found our new home. It is a two bedroom, two bathroom, two balcony apartment with a pool on the roof! Lucky us! It is kind of noisy – we live above a main avenue - but we have managed to drown out the noise through sun bathing and swimming in the pool.

We are living in an area called Bella Vista on Via España. Bella Vista sits between El Cangrejo and Calidonia – it is almost like living in between two worlds. Cangrejo has a lot of North Americans and students - it has bars, restaurants, and a young/busy vibe. Calidonia is much more…gritty. The buildings are more run down, not many stores – many look closed down, there are “projects” and the streets just feel empty. I think that it is a happy medium – we are close to the action and are close to “the people”. We can take a cab to a cool restaurant or get some criollo food a few blocks away for $2.50 (a full plate – no joke!).

We have an amazing view of the city from our back balcony, including the view of the ships waiting to cross the canal. And we have a great view of the skyline (which actually resembles Manhattan). The odd thing is that the skyline is eerily dark at night. The culprit is all of the empty apartment buildings. As the story goes (and people here love to tell this story), Colombian cartel members come to Panama to launder their drug money through real estate. They invest in large apartment buildings/condos, to legitimize their dirty money, but many let the work drag out or just leave the buildings unfinished. One of the first things that you notice when you arrive in Panama City is that there is construction everywhere! There is a new condo being built on every block. The skyline during the day is impressive – which apparently is one of the reasons that the government allows for these corrupt investments (the other being that they don’t mind pocketing some of the money themselves – or so we are told). At night, the skyline changes – it is dark and empty looking.

So that’s that. Here we stay, in our little Bella Vista home. You are all welcomed to visit and check out the view (but not at the same time, in fact, January is booking up…but we are free in March) – we have a bedroom and a pool towel waiting for you.

Barack Obama Won!!!!!!!

I am so proud of our country!

I cried.

24/7

Have you ever spent 24 hours a day with someone, 7 days a week – only taking breaks to take a shower and use the bathroom. Welcome to my life in Panama.

Since arriving here a little over a week a go, Eric and I have spent every waking (and sleeping) moment together. This is not good. I love him…very much, but I am not used to that much together time.

Allow me to me contextualize the situation. Before leaving my job to prepare for our Panama trip, I was working 12-16 hours a day. In fact, I worked so much that I actually spent a night in my office because I thought that I could be even more productive. An average day this summer looked like this:

5:30am – Wake up while Eric is still sleeping and quietly get ready and leave the house.
6:30am – Take the train into the city.
7:30am – Arrive at work, take a few deep breathes and prepare for the horror whose name is Summer Camp. (Don’t let the jolly “Youth & Family Director” title fool you – it was brutal.)
8:00am - 3:00pm – Run back and forth from my office to the campsite (literally) and attempt to manage 40 staff and over 400 kids.
3:00pm – Remember to eat.
4:00pm – Actually eat.
5:00pm – Answer parents’ endless questions and concerns about their child’s day.
6:00pm – Sit down at my desk and do some work. (Oh, did you think that supervising the camp was my only job…hahaha…oh no). Read emails, create staff and participant schedules, meet with staff, confirm trips, look at the budget, aid with Fall planning prep, etc.
8:00pm – Call Eric (he worked from home) and tell him that I will be leaving at 9:00pm.
11:00pm – Actually leave.
12:00am – Get home, eat whatever is left on the stove or in the fridge and watch TV – oh yea, and talk to Eric.
1:00am – Go to sleep and prepare to start the machine again the next day.

That was my life. Now I think that you and I can both agree that that was not healthy – for me or for my relationship. I needed a change. But now imagine going from 2 to 24 hours a day with someone. I once oversaw hundreds a people (how’s that for a resume builder?) and now I have to negotiate how much milk I can use for my cereal so that he can have enough for his coffee. It definitely requires an adjustment.

But of course, no story can exist without the moral at the end – at least not one of mine. During these 24/7 days together, I have learned a lot:

1. As much as I am complaining about not having time alone – I apparently turn into the “frightened girl” from every bad horror movie when left alone for too long. (Quick context: The other night, Eric went to a bar to film some locals watching Carlos Ruiz in the World Series…he is Panamanian. I was fine at the apartment for a few hours, watching TV and surfing the internet (that is really all there is to do). As I said, I was fine, until I started hearing rocks against the window pain. Someone was throwing rocks at our second floor balcony window! Every time I got near the window, the rock-throwing would increase. I turned off all of the lights, grabbed a knife from the kitchen, frantically looked for the number to the Embassy and made my sister keep me on iChat so that she could be a witness to anything that happened. After about twenty minutes of freaking out and wondering when Eric would get home, my sister very wisely pointed out that maybe it WAS Eric. I went to the balcony, and sure enough, Eric was sitting on the curb. I had forgotten that I had the keys to the apartment and Eric could not get into the lobby – and of course there are no buzzers. Ahhhhh, Jackie.)
   
   
2. Eric is great. I love him! While we get on each other’s nerves, we are main source of entertainment and conversation for each other. And more than that, we are each other’s support system.
   
   
3. I am the yin to Eric’s yang. When he is down, I am up (and vise versa). Being so close all of the time, we have learned to balance each other out.
   
   
4. And finally, I learned that the one thing that is harder than being with someone else for 24 hours a day…is being by yourself. Like I said, I am used to doing-doing-doing…now I have to learn to just be. I have to learn how to fill my day with things that engage me (I should start by getting off of the internet and turning off the TV). I have to learn how to feel comfortable with my minor daily accomplishments and not compare my new life with my old life (it is hard to feel accomplished with little things like learning a new word in Spanish, compared with running 10 programs a day at the Y.) I have to learn to let go and let God…hahaha. No, really. I have to let things go and just go with the flow and have fun.

So many lessons and I have only been here for a few days. Oh Panama, I am sure you have much more in store for me.

Heels or Flats?

One of the first things that I noticed when I got here was that women dress up all of the time. In fact, I noticed it before I even got here…at the airport, waiting for the plane, I saw women (old and young) dressed in tight pants, low shirts and the highest heels they could get their hands on. While I was wondering what shoes I could easily slip in and out of for the metal detector – they were wondering what color eye shadow would best bring out the blue-green in their halter-top.

Part of me admires it – it makes me think of the 1930’s and 40’s when men wore top hats and long coats and women wore white gloves and red lipstick. The idea of showing the best of you at all times. But why is Panamanian’s best, vacuumed tight jeans and stilettos? It looks to be more sexed up then dressed up. But perhaps the two are interchangeable here. Maybe to be dressed up and beautiful and confident – is to show off and extenuate the parts of what make you a woman. (And please take note, that I am only talking about women…while I have seen the occasional well dressed man on his way to work, the amount of effort it seems that men put into their look pales in comparison to the hours-long process it must take these women to put themselves together.)

I know that this view sounds very feminist (though one might argue that a woman should dress however she wants to – so my criticism is actually anti-feminist). Then maybe my view is more American; while we certainly spend billions on cloths and make-up, I feel like comfort is much more of a factor than style (just ask any of the “before” folks from “What Not To Wear”). Or maybe it is just a non-Hispanic view (even though I am Puerto Rican) – it might just be a Hispanic thing, because I know that in PR many women dress the same way.

What bothers me about it is not that they dress like that – I don’t care how people dress really, I may find things funny or odd, but que sera, sera. What bothers me is that living here, I feel like I have to dress like that too, just to fit in. I know that Eric certainly expects that of me – though he has recently said he would be happy with just the heels and the colorful eye-shadow. I like my flip-flops and boy shorts. But I must admit that I have worn my hoop earrings and lip-gloss much more since I arrived.

I think that what is more fascinating for me is that I have been forced to think about what is easy and comfortable vs. what is demanding and interesting in all aspects of my new Panamanian life. For example, we are currently staying in El Cangrejo, which can easily been called “little North America”. The number of people from Canada and the states is shocking. And what is even more intriguing is the number of these folks who don’t know Spanish – and don’t seem to want to learn. The guy who is renting us the apartment is American and has lived here for - years – he even has a Panamanian girlfriend – but his Spanish is awful! And there are tons of North American owned restaurants and shops – enough that the folks in the neighborhood can spend their whole time in Panama without speaking more than five Spanish words. It’s easy vs. interesting. I know that I have been tempted to limit myself to those restaurants because ordering in English is much easier than risking speaking Spanish with a bad accent (and yes, if you didn’t know – I am Puerto Rican and I don’t speak Spanish…thanks mom and dad!). I know in the long run, challenging myself will be much more fruitful than sticking to what I remember from Spanish 101.

Another example, I don’t like talking to people…now let me take a second to pause and contextualize this for you – I have a master’s degree in Social Work with a specialty in Community Organization and Case Work, both of which require talking to people as sort of a prerequisite. At my last job, I supervised up to thirty people. I have four email accounts (which I check every 40 minutes). And yes, I don’t like talking to people. Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either. I don’t mind having close friends, but I hate crowds, I hate talking to people I don’t know and I especially hate making small talk. (With all of that said, I am actually pretty good at it.) But here I am, in the land of friendly talkers. In New York, a stranger saying good morning might be met with a rolling of the eyes. But here, “Buenos Dias” commands of chorus of “Buenos” from all directions. Practically everyone in Panama is super friendly. They are helpful and nice – and thrilled to share a meal with you – and of course a conversation. So, I can do the comfortable thing and smile, nod and move on – or I can actually talk to people. Much more work, but I am sure much more rewarding.

So in the heels vs. flats battle, I am going to try a happy medium. I may try to fit some heels into my shoe rotation – and may use those heels to step outside of my comfort zone every once is a while…but no colorful eye shadow…I have to draw the line somewhere.

What’s this all about?

Who Am I?
My name is Jackie and I currently live with my husband in Panama City, Panama. Apart from that…I am many things…but writing about myself is my least favorite subject.

Where Am I?
I am in Panama City, Panama, my friends. It’s a land far, far away; where it is hot all of the time – at all times of the day. Where a manicure is $3 but a one bedroom is can cost $3,000 a month. A place where there are seemingly more cars than people…and more construction than cars. A magical place where everyone is always dressed up (especially the women!) but there doesn’t seem to be anywhere to go.

How did I get here? Good question. Eric (my husband) received a grant to create a sports documentary here. I’m just a long for the ride. Of course I have aspirations and expectations of my own – but for now, I am doing a very uncharacteristic thing and just going with the flow.

I am undecided about Panama. I love the potential of Panama – or that is, the potential of what I can accomplish while in Panama - improve my Spanish, learn to cook, start painting again, loose 20 pounds (don’t ask me how that got thrown in there), develop more spiritually, make new friends, etc. I love the idea of Panama – opening my eyes and my mind to a new culture and a new way of living, exchanging ideas with different people, eating home-grown food, taking a weekend trip to Costa Rica, going to the discoteca with my new friends Juan and Ana (that is a joke for anyone who ever took Spanish 101 in HS), and adding some “When I lived in Panama” stories to my repertoire. So I love the potential and I love the idea – but to be honest, I have yet to form an opinion about the place itself. I am sure that my blogs will be a breeding ground for both glowing praises and huge disappointments. But, I am excited to see what happens…aren’t you?

Why Am I Blogging?
Boredom.

I don’t know…this has been a very interesting year and I expect that my adventures in Panama will lead to even more interesting tales. I am in a new country, with a new language and I spend almost 24 hours a day with Eric – that sounds like a recipe for hilarity if you ask me.

Plus, I am far from home, with a lot of free time on my hands – so I thought that blogging could give me something to do (a way of recording my journey) and could help me stay connected to my friends and family.

If you like what I write – write something back. If not…well, write something anyway so that I know that people are reading it.