Heels or Flats?

One of the first things that I noticed when I got here was that women dress up all of the time. In fact, I noticed it before I even got here…at the airport, waiting for the plane, I saw women (old and young) dressed in tight pants, low shirts and the highest heels they could get their hands on. While I was wondering what shoes I could easily slip in and out of for the metal detector – they were wondering what color eye shadow would best bring out the blue-green in their halter-top.

Part of me admires it – it makes me think of the 1930’s and 40’s when men wore top hats and long coats and women wore white gloves and red lipstick. The idea of showing the best of you at all times. But why is Panamanian’s best, vacuumed tight jeans and stilettos? It looks to be more sexed up then dressed up. But perhaps the two are interchangeable here. Maybe to be dressed up and beautiful and confident – is to show off and extenuate the parts of what make you a woman. (And please take note, that I am only talking about women…while I have seen the occasional well dressed man on his way to work, the amount of effort it seems that men put into their look pales in comparison to the hours-long process it must take these women to put themselves together.)

I know that this view sounds very feminist (though one might argue that a woman should dress however she wants to – so my criticism is actually anti-feminist). Then maybe my view is more American; while we certainly spend billions on cloths and make-up, I feel like comfort is much more of a factor than style (just ask any of the “before” folks from “What Not To Wear”). Or maybe it is just a non-Hispanic view (even though I am Puerto Rican) – it might just be a Hispanic thing, because I know that in PR many women dress the same way.

What bothers me about it is not that they dress like that – I don’t care how people dress really, I may find things funny or odd, but que sera, sera. What bothers me is that living here, I feel like I have to dress like that too, just to fit in. I know that Eric certainly expects that of me – though he has recently said he would be happy with just the heels and the colorful eye-shadow. I like my flip-flops and boy shorts. But I must admit that I have worn my hoop earrings and lip-gloss much more since I arrived.

I think that what is more fascinating for me is that I have been forced to think about what is easy and comfortable vs. what is demanding and interesting in all aspects of my new Panamanian life. For example, we are currently staying in El Cangrejo, which can easily been called “little North America”. The number of people from Canada and the states is shocking. And what is even more intriguing is the number of these folks who don’t know Spanish – and don’t seem to want to learn. The guy who is renting us the apartment is American and has lived here for - years – he even has a Panamanian girlfriend – but his Spanish is awful! And there are tons of North American owned restaurants and shops – enough that the folks in the neighborhood can spend their whole time in Panama without speaking more than five Spanish words. It’s easy vs. interesting. I know that I have been tempted to limit myself to those restaurants because ordering in English is much easier than risking speaking Spanish with a bad accent (and yes, if you didn’t know – I am Puerto Rican and I don’t speak Spanish…thanks mom and dad!). I know in the long run, challenging myself will be much more fruitful than sticking to what I remember from Spanish 101.

Another example, I don’t like talking to people…now let me take a second to pause and contextualize this for you – I have a master’s degree in Social Work with a specialty in Community Organization and Case Work, both of which require talking to people as sort of a prerequisite. At my last job, I supervised up to thirty people. I have four email accounts (which I check every 40 minutes). And yes, I don’t like talking to people. Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either. I don’t mind having close friends, but I hate crowds, I hate talking to people I don’t know and I especially hate making small talk. (With all of that said, I am actually pretty good at it.) But here I am, in the land of friendly talkers. In New York, a stranger saying good morning might be met with a rolling of the eyes. But here, “Buenos Dias” commands of chorus of “Buenos” from all directions. Practically everyone in Panama is super friendly. They are helpful and nice – and thrilled to share a meal with you – and of course a conversation. So, I can do the comfortable thing and smile, nod and move on – or I can actually talk to people. Much more work, but I am sure much more rewarding.

So in the heels vs. flats battle, I am going to try a happy medium. I may try to fit some heels into my shoe rotation – and may use those heels to step outside of my comfort zone every once is a while…but no colorful eye shadow…I have to draw the line somewhere.